gelfwings's Blog

sometimes i feel like maybe i am trying too hard. i am trying to be completely and utterly faithful in every way online and off and to not flirt etc. but maybe he does not even want that much closeness? maybe i am doing way more then he expects er even desires? i dunno.  I only want him and love him tho. I mean i am perfectly capable of flirting and being very friendly with males. i just choose not to becuz i love him and am trying to focus on him and being ultra close and loyal to him, but sometimes i feel like perhaps his behavior is just  showing that i am overdoing mine?

sometimes i think that if u want someone who can understand devotion and specialness and faithfulness, u have to have another woman in order to do that. some women can't but lots seem to be able, I think it is just something different about how they are made, er hormones er desires er something.

 u know, there really is never any point to trying to get ur nails just so, er hair just so, er tan just so, er figure just so...no matter how famous of a super model u are the guy on your arm is going to be looking longingly after someone else. It's just how men are. they can't be content no matter what they have, they always feel like they want variety or like they are missing out on something else someplace.

 there is no point in trying so hard to be anything to please them cuz they are not pleasable, if they are pleased it is very temporary, and the next minute they are off tagging along behind someone else.

 and the others they follow can be cruel, e mean, er stupid er anything else...they don't really care..all they care about is the cleavage or the ass or the legs or whatever they are currently into.

 nothing u can do can be unique er special cuz there is always others out there doing it cooler er better, er just as good er with a twist.

 they can't go show u off to everyone being like hey look what i got i am the luckiest guy in the universe. i am completely happy1 cuz they are too busy looking for the lesser things in the universe. they can have a goddess and will still be craving after some lesser being...its just how they are.

 u, as a women, can put all the effort that u want into being loyal, not flirting, turning down dates, focusing solely on ur guy, spending every second from him and fantasizing just about him...and he will still act as if all u do is nothing special and he will be fantasizing bout the latest thing that pranced passed him.